Last Time
by Freedom Dancer
Summary: I thought that we'd get married, have children, grow old together, but look at me now, miserable and alone in a bitter, ruthless downpour. There's no one around but me, myself, and his hoodie, as tattered and as worn as it may be. It's all I have left of him, aside from Gilbird... because he broke his promises to me. (First POV, reader insert. Human names used.)


It's funny how life works.

Yet all the same, it's cruel.

Cold.

I thought that we'd get married, have children, grow old together, but look at me now, miserable and alone in a bitter, ruthless downpour. There's no one around but me, myself, and his hoodie, as tattered and as worn as it may be. It's all I have left of him. And despite the rain, I can still smell the ever present, lingering scent of his cologne on it.

Looking at the article of clothing takes me so far back. The memories are old, but they have definitely not worn down any from age. They're still as sharp and as potent as they used to be, and the twisting sensation it has on my heart and stomach makes me want to throw up. I feel sick.

 **His arms wrapped around me and he pressed his nose against the side of my neck. His chest rumbled against my back and I smiled, happy that, for once in my life, I was being acknowledged and not overlooked. "I love you..." he murmured.**

 **"I love you, too," I whispered in response, before turning myself in his arms and resting my head on his chest. "Promise me that we'll always be together, no matter what happens."**

 **"I, Gilbert Fritz Beilschmidt, promise that the awesome me will always be here with the awesome you, no matter what happens."**

 **He leaned down for a kiss and I stood up on my tip toes to meet him halfway.**

"...You promised," I whisper, tears sliding down my cheeks.

My fingers tremble on the white hoodie. The large, Black Eagle in the middle, which has begun to fade from time, only reminds me that he's gone, that he'll never come back again. This time, from this moment on, I am truly alone. I have no hope in myself or for myself. All my faith had rested in the hands of the albino: the hands that had grasped my own and shook as he promised me, promised me we'd be together for as long as we both should live. But that vow had been broken the moment he left.

 **"Hey, (y/n). I want you to know that the awesome me loves you a lot and since we're best friends and all, and we've been dating for three years now, I figured it was about time we took our relationship a step further. A big step, I mean. Sheesh, the awesome me shouldn't be so nervous to ask this, but... It's just... I'm afraid you're going to reject me... But, I have to give it a try right? I think... I think we should get married, settle down, have some awesome little me's running around and destroying the place."**

 **I lifted my head up from the book I'd been reading. Having been so wrapped up in 'The Great Gatsby,' I had only heard a low grumbling of sound from over in Gilbert's direction. His nose wrinkled up and I reciprocated his actions. "You mean... you weren't listening to me?" he whined.**

 **I blinked and placed the book down on my lap. I eased up in the chair, smiling shyly. "U-Um... Sorry, Gilbert... It's just! Ugh, Scott's work is fantastic. The way he writes Jay is so... human. It seems like he's so out of reach because of his money and his fame, but really, he's just like everyone else. It's because of all that fame and money that he can't seem to reach the girl he's so in love with and it just... I'm so close to being done. I just don't want Jay to die..."**

 **Gilbert groaned and crawled up on the couch beside me, taking the book out of my hand. I instantly went to grab it back, but he shook his head, slid a marker down in between the pages I was on, and placed the novel on the coffee table. "There's a Jay Gatsby right in front of you and he just laid his feelings on the table, but you were fantasizing about a totally different guy. Who, might I add, isn't nearly as awesome as me!"**

 **I blushed darkly. "I-I wasn't fantasizing about Jay Gatsby!"**

 **"You were, too!"**

 **"I was not!"**

 **"You were!"**

 **I cleared my throat, deciding we needed to get off of the topic. "Anyways, what were you saying?"**

 **"You mean while you were fantasizing about Jay Gatsby?"**

 **"Gilbert Beilschmidt, I was not fantasizing about Jay Gatsby! But yes, in that time period where I was a little zoned out, reading, mind you; whatever you said... say it again."**

 **He blushed and looked down. "Sure..." he hummed. I glared at him and he smirked, before growing shy again. "I don't want to be all sappy again, so... I'll just come out and say it, (y/n)."**

 **"Hmm?"**

 **"Marry me."**

I never even got the ring. But there are a lot of things I didn't get from Gilbert. I didn't get my book back. He took it with him to make sure I couldn't read the rest of it and fall in love with a fictional character, who he continued to say would never be as awesome as him. And even though I agreed, he simply smiled and stuffed the novel inside his jacket.

I never got my favorite toy back from his house when we were little and we'd been playing outside. I'd been called home all too soon for the rain that had started to pour down, and I'd forgotten it in his backyard. When I next saw him, he had fallen ill with some sort of cold. At least, that's what his parents and his brother told me. But if it was just a cold, the young me wondered, why had he been put in the hospital? Now, now it all made sense.

There was a violent rap of my heart on my lungs and I brought the hoodie up and rested it against my chest. I could feel, despite the cold sheets of rain pounding down on me, my warm tears sliding down my cheeks.

He never gave the half of me he had taken with him back. "Gilbert!" I sobbed, clinging to the hoodie.

He never said goodbye.

 **"Promise me that you'll be safe and that you'll come home," I said softly, watching my albino fiance slide his coat up on his shoulders.**

 **He grinned smugly and walked over to me, kissing me on the lips. "As long as I have you to return to, I'll be safe. I promise. Besides, I'm just gonna go bug the unawesome Antonio and Francis for a little while, and then I'll come back."**

 **I smiled and nodded, kissing and hugging Gilbert one last time.**

I never fathomed that it would be the last time I would hold him, touch him, see him. The. Last. Time. The last time I'd ever hear his voice or feel his arms around me. I never expected him to walk out the door and never come back, but that's exactly what he did.

 **Gilbert walked out with a small wave. His ruby eyes locked with mine and I blushed. "I love you, (y/n). I'll see you around five."**

 **The door clicked closed and I was left in pleasant silence for nearly three hours. The clock struck four after what seemed like an eternity and I got up, deciding it was about time to start dinner. There was an hour before Gil would come back home, and, knowing him, he'd bring Toni and Francis with him. Not that I minded. I liked the extra company and with the BTT all together, it was sure to be a blast.**

 **By the time the clock struck five, I had finished.**

 **I waited patiently for the door to open, thinking it would be any minute, but to my surprise, it remained shut... No one came in. No one went out.**

 **The hands of time continued to tick on and I started to grow worried. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.**

 **Nine o' clock and there was no sign of Gilbert. I had tried calling him several times, but his phone had gone straight to voicemail. My heart pounded in my chest and I suppressed the urge to go check on him, despite how much I wanted to. He was probably having so much fun with the guys that he forgot... Right?**

"Gilbert! Why?!" I shrieked into the unforgiving brutality of the storm at hand.

Cold drops of rain slapped my cheeks, but the red marks they created were invisible. My tears had already turned my face red.

 **As I was putting food away, I heard my phone start ringing. I quickly pushed the two baked potatoes in the fridge and picked up the device. "Hello?"**

 **"Hello. Is this (y/n)?"**

 **I grew worried. I didn't know this voice, this number... I didn't know who this was. "U-Um, yes. This is she. Who are-"**

 **"Gilbert Beilschmidt is in the hospital. He said that you'd be able to get a hold of his brother before coming up here?"**

 **Tears filled my eyes and I nodded my head. "O-Of course! But why is he in the-"**

 **She had already hung up.**

"You promised! You promised, you promised, you promised! You liar!" I screamed, turning my head upwards. "You promised you'd be safe! You promised you'd come home! YOU LIAR!"

 **I had phoned Ludwig immediately and he, along with Feliciano, had come and picked me up. We all rode to the hospital in silence, too worried for Gilbert to say anything to each other. However, all the way up there, my hand was grasped in the hand of the cheerful Italian. He looked over at me and smiled weakly, and it was all I could to do to refrain from breaking down in front of him.**

 **Once there, we wasted no time in getting to Gilbert's room. Francis and Toni were already in there. Crying.**

 **The moment I saw them, I stopped in my tracks. Francis crying was a rare event. But to see Toni, always laughing, always cheerful, never sad Toni crying, too? No. No, something was wrong. "G-Gilbert! Where is he?!" I cried, running straight for them.**

 **They looked up at me and pointed. As I rounded the corner, I felt my heart drop.**

 **Shards of the internal organ scattered everywhere. Most of the pieces were lost. Permanently. Others were too sharp to be picked up again and I didn't want to cut myself trying to gather them up. Tired looking red eyes met mine.**

 **What had happened to the energy behind them? The happiness they once held was completely gone. The fire had long since diminished. "G-Gilbert!" I yelled, tears cascading down my cheeks. I snatched his hand up in mine and squeezed. So cold... So... So cold."G-Gil, what happened?! What are you doing here?! How did you get here?"**

 **He smiled, tears growing in his own crimson irises. "(Y/N), listen to me closely, ja? I don't... don't have long..." His voice sounded so feeble and weak and hungry, like the only thing he wanted was to be heard one last time.**

 **I shook my head. No. No. No. This couldn't be it! This was a prank, right? All a big prank planned by the BTT and after Gil had his laugh, he'd get up and we'd walk out together. I wouldn't be mad! I'd forgive him instantly. I'd beg him not to do it again, of course, but I'd forgive him! "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want this... I never did... Twenty four years old and..." he coughed and drew in a ragged breath. He was struggling to breathe. "And I'm dying... I wish I could have told you when we were little, but I didn't want to see you cry. And yet here we are now... and you're crying because of me..."**

 **I shook my head again, more vigorously this time. I began to plead with him, beg him to stop. "Gil, you're not dying!"**

 **He smiled sadly, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Ja... Ja, I am, (y/n). The awesome me is going to go on a long vacation... Think of it like that... Someday, we'll see each other again."**

 **"But you're not dying, Gil! You're still alive! You're still right here with me! You can't go! You can't leave me!"**

 **Crimson orbs started to grow dull. Where was that same fiery passion I had seen almost nine hours ago?! His smile started to fade. It no longer reached his eyes. His grip grew a little less than firm. "It doesn't seem like so long ago, we were kids... outside throwing mud pies at each other's face..." A sad, exhausted laugh came from Gilbert, and he continued. "And now here we are... supposed to be getting married... but it seems my time is up... I'm sorry that we won't be growing up together anymore... I wanted to spend the rest... the rest of my life with you and only you... W-We were supposed to get married and have kids. We were supposed to watch them grow up, all while we grew old together... I was supposed to kiss you goodnight until I couldn't kiss you anymore, hold your hand until my hand shook so bad that it was impossible. I was supposed to say your name until I couldn't remember it, (y/n). You don't have to forgive me for not telling you... but please... never forget me."**

 **I broke down and buried my face in Gilbert's side. The steady beep of the heart monitor beside us became increasingly deafening as he spoke. This wasn't real. I'd wake up from this nightmare and Gil would be beside me, holding me close. We'd be in bed, warm and together, and never apart! This would never have happened! It would be a distant, long forgotten dream thrown into the scrap heap with the rest of the unwanted nightmares created by my mind.**

 **Suddenly, a cool hand touched my cheek. "I love you... so much... (y/n)... Please never forget that..."**

 **And than it dropped to the bed. The hand I had been holding suddenly slid out of my own and my eyes widened with horror. "Gil? Gilbert?! Gilbert! No! No! Gilbert! Wake up!" I shrieked. Terror consumed me and I reached out, aiming to grab his shoulders and shake him awake, but Ludwig caught me and pulled me back.**

 **My face met the blonde's hard chest and I started to sob into his black t-shirt. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be.**

 **The sound of a flat line echoed from the heart monitor and I blacked out.**

The storm grew more passionate in its attempt to brutally remove me from the outside world. Yet, I stayed, crying and grasping the hoodie of my dead fiance, while a small chick with soaked down came up and hid in the pocket of my jacket. It didn't offer much coverage from the rain, but in the small bird's position, I understood it wanted what little warmth it could find. "G-Gilbird," I cried pathetically, looking down at the chick.

It's beady, black eyes locked with mine and it chirped sadly. "Piyo!"

"C-Can you do m-me a favor once this storm is over?"

 **Days come and go. People greet us and walk on by. The seasons are ever changing, just like our hearts.**

 **I stared at the casket numbly. I was all cried out. The service for Gilbert had ended some time ago, but I wasn't ready for him to be buried yet. I reached down and gently touched the cold skin of his hand.**

 **I waited. I waited patiently.**

 **I stood and stood, just staring at his eye lids. "Come on, Gilbert... Wake up... This joke has gone too far, okay? I promise I won't be mad... Just get up, please..." I said quietly.**

 **He didn't move.**

After what seemed like forever, I stood up and started to head back home, wherever that may have been. Without Gilbert, I had no such place. I was invisible again. But this time around, I had chosen to be this way. No eyes on me. No hands touching me. No one. Nothing.

This loneliness: I was responsible for it now.

 **They put him six feet under. I stood and watched. Feliciano and Ludwig didn't leave my side. They said I was unstable, but all I was at the moment was numb and in denial. That wasn't Gilbert, and if by some horrible chance that it was, he was only asleep. He'd wake up soon. He'd come home soon. He'd tell me he loved me soon.**

 **Because it was too soon to be over.**

When I finally found the place Gilbert and I used to take refuge in, the place I no longer called a house or home, I walked in and laid down on the couch, eyes devoid of any life. "Gilbird," I whispered.

The bird emerged from my pocket and cuddled up against my shivering form. "Y-You can fly right?"

The bird cheeped, signaling his yes.

"Could you d-do me a favor th-than?" I whispered.

Another cheep.

"C-Can you fly up to heaven a-and tell Gil I-I forgive him? And that i-it's okay that he broke his promise?"

A sad cheep, one that was nearly inaudible.

"And... and can you tell him I love him... one last time...?"

(Nope. Not sorry for the feels. I actually cried while writing this and I have NEVER done that before, so I hope you cried, too. And tell me whatcha think!)


End file.
